


You did a Grape Job

by CoyoteMoon



Series: Fictober 2020 Prompts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: #Fictober20, Attempt at Humor, Crack Fic, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Beta Read, The Author Regrets Everything, no beta we die like men, some truly awful puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoyoteMoon/pseuds/CoyoteMoon
Summary: One archer, one super soldier, and one confused bird themed hero, in a dark room together, what could go wrong?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Fictober 2020 Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966531
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	You did a Grape Job

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt: #1. "No, Come Back!" for Fictober 2020
> 
> Please enjoy!

The night was chilly and silent, interrupted only by the sound of muttered curses coming from his left ear.

Bucky ignored the blond menace as best he could, he couldn’t really see how he was so uncomfortable, at least he was indoors, not getting cold wind blown into his face every few seconds. If his hair slapped him in his face one more time, he was leaving Clint to his fate.

“Can this guy take any longer to get home, or what?” Clint asked, shuffling in place once more, a distinctly whiny quality in his voice.

Bucky’s eyes twitched in annoyance. This was the beginning of his villain origin story, he could just tell.

“This was your idea, Clint.” Bucky replied, he’d been ready to leave since the moment they got there.

“Well yeah, but i thought he’d be home earlier than this, we can’t have had that much of a headstart on him, right?” Clint asked, cursing under his breath, the sound of some soft object brushing against what sounded like a hard, unmoving surface. 

Bucky could hear Clint shifting positions again, the noise more grating each time he’d heard it, far too often for his liking.

“Stop moving around, he’ll definitely see you if you knock anything out of place before he gets home.” Bucky muttered into the comm, wishing he was at home with his cat, instead of here, with his idiot archer. The things that man got him into..

“Well, you try hiding where he won’t see you in this getup, then.” Clint grunted into the comms, clearly about to shift positions again. How anyone said he was able to hide in plain sight on missions, when he couldn’t seem to last 30 minutes hidden behind a couch, was beyond him.

Bucky was about to reply, when he spotted movement from the street. Finally. Their target was making his way slowly down the block, arms full of grocery bags. 

Well, that explained his tardiness. He made sure he wouldn’t be overheard by him, and notified Clint.

“Heads up, target sighted, be ready to react in five. Moving into position on the fire escape, got everything set to record?” Bucky asked, knowing it was rhetorical at best, the whole point of this exercise was to make sure they caught it on tape, after all.

“Who do you think i am, an amateur? I had the camera set up before I got into position. Hold on, i can hear him coming up the stairs, this is gonna be so funny!” Bucky could hear Clint settling into place for the last time, ready to spring up in a moment's notice, and, as he arrived on the fire escape, he could see him as well.

They both quieted down even more as they heard keys slide into the lock, first one set, then the other. This was the moment they’d been waiting three hours for, ever since Clint had gotten the idea into his head earlier in the evening.

Bucky was still curious where he’d even gotten the costume in such short notice, but all he’d said was “I used to live in a circus, you know? Means you know all kinda people in the business” with a little shrug, like that really answered anything at all. 

The final lock clicked open, and they held their breath as the door slowly swung open, small bits of light shining in from the hallway. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam walked in, and placed his groceries on the floor before reaching to turn the apartment's lights on, unsuspecting what awaited him. Just as he placed his fingers on the switch, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, and heard what sounded like a bird’s dying screech.

“WHAT THE FU...!!” Sam shouted, jerking back into the doorframe in surprise. There, behind his couch was this massive...lumpy triangle, wheezing with laughter.

“Tell me you got that! You should have seen your face!” Clint fucking Barton laughed as he slapped the back of Sam’s couch. 

Sam scowled, heart pounding, and reached back for the lightswitch, keeping his eyes on the laughing archer. Even as the light flicked on, he heard the window of his fire escape open, but he couldn’t care less about who was entering his apartment just then. Probably just the archer’s silent shadow, Bucky Barnes. He reconsidered where his life was heading, when he finally got a good look at the archer.

What. the. Fuck. was Barton wearing?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky blinked at the sudden light, but he felt like it was worth the temporary annoyance to see Sam’s face as he took in what Clint was wearing. He had to admit, the archer was wearing a pretty...odd outfit.

Clint was shaking with laughter at Sam’s face, propped up by the couch, while reaching down by his feet to retrieve his final prop, while Sam visibly tried to recover from his shock. 

“Hey, did JUICE SEE anything weird on your way home tonight?” as Clint spoke, he held up the bottle of grape juice he’d brought with him, wiggling his eyebrows as he did, to the amusement of exactly no one in the room besides himself. Whatever, he at least thought it was funny.

Bucky sighed and moved around Clint, gesturing at Sam as he went. “He’s been waiting all night to say that.” He said, as he moved over to the seat across from the couch, a resigned look on his face.

Sam stared at Clint, who was wearing a, quite frankly, disturbing grin on his face. 

“Why. Why are you hiding in my apartment in that..that dumbass grape suit?” Sam asked, already knowing that question was a mistake, going by the increased smile on Hawkeye’s face.

“I just wanted to show you how GRAPEFUL i was for the prank you pulled on me earlier.” Clint wheezed out, as Sam winced at the truly awful pun he’d just heard. 

“That’s it, i’m done.” Sam stalked out of the room towards the hallway, the sound of Bucky’s sigh and Clint’s laughter following him.

“No, come back!” Clint cried, as he gave up the fight against gravity, and collapsed to the floor, laughing his head off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for stopping by and reading this train wreck! I'm not very confident that this made a lot of sense? but i was writing this instead of sleeping, so maybe that's why? This is only my second actually written work, so please be kind in any comments or criticism, everyone needs to start somewhere, after all!


End file.
